Policy

~Updated 6/12~

First and foremost, please be advised that, because this blog frequently focuses on kinky sex and sex work and hosts (R-rated) explicit pictures on the Galleries page, it is not a place for those under 18 or those who find such things offensive. If you aren’t offended by such things per se but are worried you may be triggered, please know that you don’t have to avoid this whole site.  I use specific trigger warnings on individual pages and posts where necessary.

For those still remaining: I recognize that, in order to succeed, this blog needs to be functional, safe, and accessible. Since this goes for my posts as well the comments on them, I’m going to structure my blog policy as a series of promises for what you can expect from my writing followed by the corollary of what I expect from commenters.

As of now, all comments must be manually approved by me, and I will only  approve a comment that violates the rules if I intend to mock it. Each comment that is in violation will provoke a public warning.  After three warnings, you will not be allowed to comment here anymore. This does not apply to those who are obvious trolls or spambots— they will be immediately banned. Anyone who spews abuse at me is at risk of having hir comment published along with hir email address and IP address, because I am done with the moral highground. Capice?

Functionality-  I promise to make this site as well-organized and easy to navigate as I can within the limits of this pre-designed (read: free) layout. I also promise that from now on I’ll note in a post when I’ve edited it.  The first few weeks didn’t see much traffic here, so I kept editing and re-posting without any indication that I was doing so.  I realize that in the future, however, this might cause confusion.  I also promise to at least attempt to post on a regular schedule once this blog gets off the ground and my life has settled a bit.
The following behaviors from commenters impinge upon functionality and are therefore not allowed:

• Trolling: saying something just to upset myself or others or to incite vicious argument
• Spamming: repeatedly posting things that are off-topic or redundant, or advertising other sites or services (if you want to plug your blog, let me know)
• Derailing:  commenting about something unrelated or tangential to the original post. This includes asking questions that are clearly answered in the post or elsewhere on the site (FAQs, people, are called that for a reason.)

Safety- I promise to always use pseudonyms when discussing the people in my life and to not engage in any personal attacks* of the authors of any blogs, posts, or comments I respond to (unless it is eminently warranted because the person has decided to verbally harass me. Yes, I get to make this call.)  I will make my best effort not to engage in any -ism or -phobia**, though I’m sure I’ll make mistakes.  As such, I promise to listen to any accusations of such behavior and consider them for at least a day before responding.
The following behaviors from commenters impinge upon safety and are therefore not allowed:

• Trolling: (see above)
• Disrespecting the Blogstress: Referring to me by pet names or sexually harassing me. I know that I’m hot, and I know that I’m naked, but that doesn’t make it okay for you to call me “baby” or drag me into the role play that’s happening inside your head by addressing me as “Mistress”. If you want to compliment me, try complimenting my photos (or, you know, my writing) and addressing me as “Lori”. For example, “Damn, Lori, this photo is super hot!” is an acceptable and awesome comment. “Damn, baby, I wanna stick my dick in you!” is not. If you feel the need to say that, do so in your space, not mine.
• * Personal attacks: insulting a person instead of responding to zie’s argument.  If a person says something way out of line, you may call out zie’s behavior but never zie’s character. Only I get that privilege.
• ** Engaging in any sort of -ism or -phobia: making prejudiced remarks about an oppressed group, such as women, trans people, intersex people, LGBQA people, abuse survivors, kinky people, racial and ethnic minorities, foreigners or immigrants, religious minorities, disabled people, fat people, children, the elderly, and people of lower socio-economic classes.

While intent to spam/troll/ engage in homophobia, etc. does count in terms of one’s character, it doesn’t mitigate the effects of the behavior and therefore isn’t an excuse. This is especially true for all instances of prejudice: this forum isn’t a 101 space, so I’m not going to say ‘Aww, that’s okay’ if you misgender someone, and I’m certainly not going to hold your hand and educate you about, say, the proper gender pronouns to use when talking to or about a trans man.  Calling him ‘her’ is a violation of my commenting rules even if you really didn’t mean to act like a jerk.  I’m holding myself to the same standard.

Because this is my blog, however, I’m not going to hold myself to the same standards of punishment as commenters, who (I remind you) will be banned after three violations and the resulting public warnings. Of course, if you want to hold me to that standard and ban this blog from your RSS feed after my third major fuck-up, you’re obviously welcome to do so.

Accessibility- Making this blog functional (e.g. easy to navigate) and safe (e.g. free of ableism) will of course go part of the way towards making it accessible to people with disabilities (and without!)  To make it much closer to 100% accessible, though, it’s also necessary to keep the site as clutter-free as possible, to provide audio and image/ video descriptions (for the blog, if not the Galleries), and trigger warnings where appropriate.  I ask commenters to do this themselves if possible, but I will take ultimate responsibility if, for example, a comment contains a link to a picture that doesn’t have alt text. If you’d like to make an accessibility suggestion, please feel free to do so.

I urge people to contact me if (and when) I fail to meet these standards.  I can’t promise you a public self-flogging, but I can promise I’ll read and consider what you wrote

"It all comes off with the make-up". From the 'Mirror Mirror' Gallery. Photographer: Ian Reid